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The Wacky Wisdom of 'Seinfeld'

From “yadda yadda yadda” to “no soup for you,” Seinfeld delivered a lot of memorable lines in its nine seasons on NBC. The sitcom, created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, aired from 1989 to 1998, with more than 170 episodes. And although it has been described as a show about “nothing,” it had a substantial impact on television and pop culture at large, creating jokes that still serve as cultural shorthand today.

The four core characters were New Yorkers annoyed by everything and not afraid to grouse. Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), George (Jason Alexander), and Kramer (Michael Richards) were an odd bunch, but the chemistry worked. They riffed off of each other and were intimately acquainted with one another’s quirks and sore spots. They knew how to get under each other’s skin but also how to build each other back up. The show was at its best when it captured the mundane observations of its characters. From their wacky ideas on restaurant seating to breakups, food, and board games, here are 14 quotes that demonstrate the wacky wisdom of Seinfeld.

You know, it's not fair people are seated first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest. I feel like just going over there and taking some food off somebody's plate.
— Elaine Benes, season 2, episode 11

I don't like when a woman says, "Make love to me." It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.
— George Costanza, season 3, episode 10

Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done, and the way I'll always do it.
— Kramer, season 4, episode 2

So I sped home to save my friend's life and I was stopped for speeding. Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life! A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker.
— Newman (Wayne Knight), season 4, episode 4

I say let's let bygones be bygones. If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins. They weren't even my raisins.
— George Costanza, season 4, episode 24

You're giving me the "It's not you, it's me" routine? I invented "It's not you, it's me"! No one tells me it's them, not me! If it's anybody, it's me!
— George Costanza, season 5, episode 6

I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted … with a side of potato salad … and a cup of tea!
— George Costanza, season 5, episode 22

The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get on board and we can get to work!
— Jerry Seinfeld, season 6, episode 11

Oh, it's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.
— Jerry Seinfeld, season 6, episode 12

I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic — it's a pleasure.
— George Costanza, season 6, episode 16

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.
— Jerry Seinfeld, season 7, episode 9

Serenity now! Serenity now!
— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), season 3, episode 3

Our policy is, we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say "Enjoy the show.”
— Kramer, season 9, episode 12

Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
— Jerry Seinfeld, season 9, episode 2

Photo credit: AJ Pics/ Alamy Stock Photo

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About the Author
Courtney E. Smith
Courtney E. Smith is an author, podcaster, and editor based in Dallas, Texas.
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