If life were like a romantic comedy, every date would begin with a coy flirtation such as, “You had me at hello,” and end with a swoon-worthy kiss. Alas, dating is usually a bit trickier than that. Sure, it can be fun, but it can also be an uphill slog of difficult dinners, forced conversation, and uneasy agreements to never see each other again.
This intersection of optimistic romantic possibility and outright awkwardness makes dating a minefield of emotions with a wide array of potential outcomes: A first date can lead to marriage or a solemn swear to never, ever date again.
When we date, we bare ourselves, our interests, and our values to people who essentially start out as total strangers. This puts us in a uniquely vulnerable position, and humor is one way to cope when making ourselves vulnerable doesn’t go according to plan. It’s no surprise, then, that courtship is a subject rife for comedy.
Here are 13 quotes from Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Cher, and more that shed some light on the funny side of dating.
Let's face it: A date is a job interview that lasts all night.Jerry Seinfeld
I feel that after you’ve dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what’s wrong with them. That way the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch.Rita Rudner
A girl can wait for the right man to come along — but in the meantime, that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.Cher
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.Wendy Liebman
On my first date, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat à la carte, and I said that I would prefer to stay inside!Cristin Milioti
Dating a man is like flying a kite. You only need to know when to wind up the string or let it out.Jenna Alatari
Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier.Caprice Crane
Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.Susan Healy
I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.Chelsea Handler
I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.Dave Attell
There’s something uniquely valuable in everyone, and we’ll be much happier and better off if we invest the time and energy it takes to find it. But seriously, if the person doesn’t clip their toenails or wear clean socks, look elsewhere. There are plenty of options.Aziz Ansari
A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.Larry David
I was out on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.Susie Loucks
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