Article image

12 of the Funniest Quotes From Great Novels

Sometimes a good laugh can sneak up on you in the most unexpected places, as in the middle of an otherwise dramatic scene in a piece of great literature.

Even when we expect a book to be humorous, reading an unexpectedly funny line feels like stumbling upon a hidden treasure. It’s a secret, knowing wink shared between author and reader, connecting countless generations of readers and reminding us of humor’s timeless nature.

Eliciting chuckles using silent words printed on a page is no easy feat — but these witty gems, tucked away in books both classic and modern, are capable of doing just that. We remember them because they resonate with us, and we share them because we recognize ourselves and our experiences in them.

From Jane Austen and Douglas Adams to Oscar Wilde and David Foster Wallace, here are 12 of the funniest lines in literary history.

After God Shakespeare has created most.
James Joyce, “Ulysses”

Share Quote

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.
Joseph Heller, “Catch-22”

Share Quote

Mother cooked a big breakfast. And then, when she cleared off the table, she found a quarter and a dime and three pennies by Father’s coffee cup. He’d tipped her.
Kurt Vonnegut, “Cat’s Cradle”

Share Quote

Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are, and it will take years and years of patient effort on the part of us Christians to bring about any appreciable reformation in the rowdiness of the fox-terrier nature.
Jerome K. Jerome, “Three Men in a Boat”

Share Quote

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

Share Quote

Money’s a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.
Henry James, “The Portrait of a Lady”

Share Quote

An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.
Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice”

Share Quote

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.
C.S. Lewis, “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”

Share Quote

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”

Share Quote

This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.
William Goldman, “The Princess Bride”

Share Quote

She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest.
Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

Share Quote

It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Roald Dahl, “Matilda”

Share Quote

Featured image credit: sjbooks/ Alamy Stock Photo

Author image
About the Author
Kristina Wright
Kristina is a coffee-fueled writer living happily ever after with her family in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Who wrote, "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night"?

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

separator icon
Kevin Kelly
motivation theme icon

I felt it shelter to speak to you.

separator icon
Emily Dickinson
hope theme icon

You have to fail in order to practice being brave.

separator icon
Mary Tyler Moore
love theme icon

'Tis never too late to be wise.

separator icon
Daniel Defoe
wisdom theme icon

In all things it is better to hope than to despair.

separator icon
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
happiness theme icon

Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time.

separator icon
Hermann Hesse
motivation theme icon

Success isn’t about how your life looks to others; it’s about how it feels to you.

separator icon
Michelle Obama
hope theme icon

One shouldn't just hope to be treated well: one must insist on it.

separator icon
Abraham Verghese
love theme icon

It isn't a sadness, but a joy, that we don't do the same things for the length of our lives.

separator icon
Gabrielle Zevin
wisdom theme icon

You mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat.

separator icon
F. Scott Fitzgerald
happiness theme icon

What you think about day and night forms your character and personality.

separator icon
Masami Saionji