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20 Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan

As dependable and loving as they can be, many dads also have an undeniably embarrassing brand of humor. There’s seemingly something about fatherhood that results in the corniest jokes imaginable. But even though the typical “dad joke” leads to eye-rolls more often than not, it’s hard to imagine not hearing that same goofy pun for the millionth time.

The perfect dad joke is short, sweet, and super cheesy, albeit in an endlessly endearing way. From dentists to ghosts and everything in between, no topic is safe from becoming the punchline of a groan-inducing fatherly quip. It’s almost a point of pride for many dads; the louder the groan, the more they absolutely nailed the joke.

For anyone looking for new material, or family members wondering what pun to expect next, here are 20 silly witticisms to consider adding to the dad joke repertoire.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

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I’m worried about the calendar. Its days are numbered.

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What time did the person go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

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I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes, but it turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

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What do you call a factory that makes OK products? A satisfactory.

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I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

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What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

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I don’t know what the best thing about Switzerland is, but the flag is a big plus.

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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? They just wanted a bit more space.

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I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something.

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What’s Forrest Gump’s computer password? 1forrest1.

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I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.

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Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

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Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.

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I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

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Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

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I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

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I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

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Featured image credit: tttuna/ iStock

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About the Author
Bennett Kleinman
Bennett is a staff writer at Optimism as well as a freelance comedy writer. He's based in New York City.
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