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15 Funny Sitcom Quotes That Will Make You LOL

Ever since Mary Kay and Johnny helped usher in the sitcom format in 1947, episodic comedies have become an indelible part of American culture. These sitcoms bring laugh-out-loud joy to our lives, whether we’re gathered around the TV with family or relaxing with a binge-watch. For around 30 minutes each episode, these classic shows let us escape into zany worlds filled with beloved characters who brighten our days.

One way that sitcoms have so successfully permeated pop culture is with their highly quotable dialogue. From Urkel’s “Did I do that?” to Homer Simpson’s “D’oh,” so many hilarious TV quotes and catchphrases have become commonplace in the collective American lexicon.

In honor of these timeless television programs, we’ve compiled 15 of the funniest quotes from the most enduring and hysterical sitcoms to ever grace our screens — shows we rewatch again and again whenever we need a good laugh.

I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.
Michael Scott (Steve Carell) in “The Office”

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It was like I was transported back in time. I wasn’t a tired old woman with six kids. I was a fresh young teenager with two kids.
Carla Tortelli (Rhea Perlman) in “Cheers”

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Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) in  “The Simpsons”

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Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party, 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.
Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) in “30 Rock”

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I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) in “Parks & Recreation”

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She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.
Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) in “Arrested Development”

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A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
Larry David (Larry David) in “Curb Your Enthusiasm”

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Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Monica Geller (Courteney Cox) in “Friends”

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I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well.
George Costanza (Jason Alexander) in “Seinfeld”

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People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.
Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) in “The Golden Girls”

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Anybody that goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Archie Bunker (Norman Lear) in “All in the Family”

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I’ve only ever said “I love you” to two men my entire life: Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) in “The Good Place”

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I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me? Mozart will tell me he’s busy but then later I’ll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln!
Niles Crane (David Hyde Pierce) in “Frasier”

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Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.
Lois Wilkerson (Jane Kaczmarek) in

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Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) in “The Big Bang Theory”

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Featured image credit: Maximum Film/ Alamy Stock Photo

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About the Author
Bennett Kleinman
Bennett is a staff writer at Optimism as well as a freelance comedy writer. He's based in New York City.
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