Article image

15 Funny Sitcom Quotes That Will Make You LOL

Ever since Mary Kay and Johnny helped usher in the sitcom format in 1947, episodic comedies have become an indelible part of American culture. These sitcoms bring laugh-out-loud joy to our lives, whether we’re gathered around the TV with family or relaxing with a binge-watch. For around 30 minutes each episode, these classic shows let us escape into zany worlds filled with beloved characters who brighten our days.

One way that sitcoms have so successfully permeated pop culture is with their highly quotable dialogue. From Urkel’s “Did I do that?” to Homer Simpson’s “D’oh,” so many hilarious TV quotes and catchphrases have become commonplace in the collective American lexicon. In honor of these timeless television programs, we’ve compiled 15 of the funniest quotes from the most enduring and hysterical sitcoms to ever grace our screens — shows we rewatch again and again whenever we need a good laugh.

I’m not superstitious but I’m a little stitious.
Michael Scott, “The Office”

Share Quote

It was like I was transported back in time. I wasn’t a tired old woman with six kids. I was a fresh young teenager with two kids.
Carla Tortelli, “Cheers”

Share Quote

Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”

Share Quote

Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.
Liz Lemon, “30 Rock”

Share Quote

I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson, “Parks & Recreation”

Share Quote

She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.
Lucille Bluth, “Arrested Development”

Share Quote

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”

Share Quote

Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Monica Geller, “Friends”

Share Quote

I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well.
George Costanza, “Seinfeld”

Share Quote

People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.
Sophia Petrillo, “The Golden Girls”

Share Quote

Anybody that goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Archie Bunker, “All in the Family”

Share Quote

I’ve only ever said “I love you” to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Eleanor Shellstrop, “The Good Place”

Share Quote

I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me? Mozart will tell me he’s busy but then later I’ll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln!
Niles Crane, “Frasier”

Share Quote

Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.
Lois Wilkerson, “Malcolm in the Middle”

Share Quote

Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Sheldon Cooper, “The Big Bang Theory”

Share Quote

Photo credit: Maximum Film/ Alamy Stock Photo

Author image
About the Author
Bennett Kleinman
Bennett is a staff writer at Optimism as well as a freelance comedy writer. He's based in New York City.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "You have to ___ in order to practice being brave." - Mary Tyler Moore

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

You know the greatest thing is passion, without it what have you got?

separator icon
Diana Vreeland
motivation theme icon

The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before.

separator icon
Neil Gaiman
hope theme icon

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.

separator icon
Oscar Wilde
love theme icon

Be kind once a day — even if it's just in your mind.

separator icon
Yoko Ono
wisdom theme icon

Success is a collection of problems solved.

separator icon
I. M. Pei
happiness theme icon

Whatever you want emotionally, you have to start giving away.

separator icon
Mary Karr
motivation theme icon

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

separator icon
Henry David Thoreau
hope theme icon

I have stood on a mountain of no's for one yes.

separator icon
B. Smith
love theme icon

We must believe that we are gifted for something.

separator icon
Marie Curie
wisdom theme icon

Don't move the way fear makes you move.

separator icon
Rumi
happiness theme icon

You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.

separator icon
Ray Bradbury