Article image

13 Funny Quotes for Anyone Who Loves (or Hates) Shopping

Shopping: For some, it’s a ghastly and unfortunately necessary task to be avoided for as long as humanly possible. For others, it’s a way of life that’s undertaken with a sense of glee bordering on euphoria.

Whichever side we find ourselves on, shopping is a part of life. We spend many hours every month shopping in person, over the phone, and, increasingly, online. And, despite popular belief, women don’t necessarily spend much more time shopping than men — they seem to simply enjoy it more.

According to one U.K. study, men tend to get bored of shopping within 26 minutes, while women are generally happy to shop for around two hours. It’s perhaps no surprise, then, that the same study found that one out of two shopping trips with partners ended in an argument.

For those of us who do enjoy shopping, it can be a highly rewarding experience, even if the extra dopamine release is temporary. A bit of retail therapy can genuinely lift a buyer’s mood, and most of us have indulged in the occasional splurge when our spirits have needed a boost. These purchases can be even more rewarding when we believe we’re getting a good deal, which explains the frequently chaotic scrambles for bargains during sales such as Black Friday and Labor Day.

Here are 13 funny quotes about shopping, from people who both love and loathe it.

I love to shop. I rationalize shopping. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
Rita Rudner

Share Quote

No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.
Donita K. Paul

Share Quote

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
Bo Derek

Share Quote

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, any time. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
Sophie Kinsella

Share Quote

I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright

Share Quote

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers

Share Quote

Men go shopping just as men go out fishing or hunting, to see how large a fish may be caught with the smallest hook.
Henry Ward Beecher

Share Quote

Shopping is my cardio.
Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) in “Sex and the City”

Share Quote

My least favorite aspect of shopping is shopping.
A.J. Mendez

Share Quote

Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping, you can make an exchange for something you really like.
Adrienne Gusoff

Share Quote

I’m happy to declare it openly. Being bored by clothes shopping feels smart and intellectual: “Ooh, get me, insufficiently entertained by racks of skinny jeans; my mind is on higher things.”
Victoria Coren Mitchell

Share Quote

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry

Share Quote

The odds of going to a store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are 3 billion to one.
Erma Bombeck

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Vladyslav Starozhylov/ Shutterstock

Author image
About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "___ is a perfectly legitimate response to failure." - Stephen King

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Success is sometimes the outcome of a whole string of failures.

separator icon
Vincent van Gogh
motivation theme icon

Great difficulties may be surmounted by patience and perseverance.

separator icon
Abigail Adams
hope theme icon

Chance favors only the prepared mind.

separator icon
Louis Pasteur
love theme icon

Only the ephemeral is of lasting value.

separator icon
Eugène Ionesco
wisdom theme icon

The truth is the light and light is the truth.

separator icon
Ralph Ellison
happiness theme icon

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

separator icon
Betty White
motivation theme icon

The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.

separator icon
Kevin Kelly
hope theme icon

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.

separator icon
Peter Drucker
love theme icon

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

separator icon
Franklin D. Roosevelt
wisdom theme icon

Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.

separator icon
Ludwig Wittgenstein
happiness theme icon

When I grow up, I’m gonna look up from my phone and see my life.

separator icon
Phoebe Bridgers