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13 Funny Quotes for Anyone Who Loves (or Hates) Shopping

Shopping: For some, it’s a ghastly and unfortunately necessary task to be avoided for as long as humanly possible. For others, it’s a way of life that’s undertaken with a sense of glee bordering on euphoria.

Whichever side we find ourselves on, shopping is a part of life. We spend many hours every month shopping in person, over the phone, and, increasingly, online. And, despite popular belief, women don’t necessarily spend much more time shopping than men — they seem to simply enjoy it more.

According to one U.K. study, men tend to get bored of shopping within 26 minutes, while women are generally happy to shop for around two hours. It’s perhaps no surprise, then, that the same study found that one out of two shopping trips with partners ended in an argument.

For those of us who do enjoy shopping, it can be a highly rewarding experience, even if the extra dopamine release is temporary. A bit of retail therapy can genuinely lift a buyer’s mood, and most of us have indulged in the occasional splurge when our spirits have needed a boost. These purchases can be even more rewarding when we believe we’re getting a good deal, which explains the frequently chaotic scrambles for bargains during sales such as Black Friday and Labor Day.

Here are 13 funny quotes about shopping, from people who both love and loathe it.

I love to shop. I rationalize shopping. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
Rita Rudner

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No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.
Donita K. Paul

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Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
Bo Derek

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Honestly, shopping beats therapy, any time. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
Sophie Kinsella

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I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright

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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers

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Men go shopping just as men go out fishing or hunting, to see how large a fish may be caught with the smallest hook.
Henry Ward Beecher

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Shopping is my cardio.
Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) in “Sex and the City”

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My least favorite aspect of shopping is shopping.
A.J. Mendez

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Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping, you can make an exchange for something you really like.
Adrienne Gusoff

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I’m happy to declare it openly. Being bored by clothes shopping feels smart and intellectual: “Ooh, get me, insufficiently entertained by racks of skinny jeans; my mind is on higher things.”
Victoria Coren Mitchell

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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry

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The odds of going to a store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are 3 billion to one.
Erma Bombeck

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Featured image credit: Vladyslav Starozhylov/ Shutterstock

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About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
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