Article image

12 Funny Quotes From Centenarians

The average life expectancy in the United States is roughly 77 years, but about one in every 5,000 people lives to celebrate 100.

Women account for 85% of these centenarians and 90% of supercentenarians (those who live to at least 110), and some scientists believe their longevity is partially connected to having two X chromosomes. Other research suggests that having a happy and giving personality and strong social connections could also contribute to longevity.

The most senior of our senior citizens often possess a unique perspective that transcends life’s everyday challenges. Their vast stores of experience can serve as a compass for the rest of us, providing insights into the enduring resilience of the human spirit.

These wise and witty quotes from the world’s oldest people offer some much-needed perspective and reinforce the words of the Roman philosopher Seneca: “Life is long if you know how to use it.”

I don’t have many failures. If I’m making a cake and it fails, it becomes a pudding.
Cliff Crozier (lived to 104)

Share Quote

The Lord blessed me, I think, because I’m good to my family and good to my children and grandchildren. And I feed them.
Gertrude Weaver (lived to 116)

Share Quote

When I graduated from Santa Monica High in 1927, I was voted the girl most likely to succeed. I didn’t realize it would take so long.
Gloria Stuart (lived to 100)

Share Quote

It’s nice to be here. When you’re 100 years old, it’s nice to be anywhere.
George Burns (lived to 100)

Share Quote

If your hair is done properly and you’re wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything.
Iris Apfel (102 as of 2023)

Share Quote

People ask me, “What is the secret?” The answer is simple. Choose the right grandparents.
Mac Miller (lived to 104)

Share Quote

My secret to a long life has been staying away from men. They’re just more trouble than they’re worth.
Jessie Gallan (lived to 109)

Share Quote

I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything’s fine.
Jeanne Calment (lived to 122)

Share Quote

I am old, very old, but not an idiot.
Maria Branyas Morera (116 as of 2023)

Share Quote

I have a lot of boyfriends. That’s the way to stay young.
Grandma Moses (lived to 101)

Share Quote

I don’t buy green bananas; they take too long to ripen.
Kirk Douglas (lived to 103)

Share Quote

Wouldn’t it be terrible if you’d spent all your life doing everything you were supposed to do … and suddenly one day you were run over by a big red bus, and as the wheels were crunching into you, you’d say, “Oh my God, I could have got so drunk last night!” That’s the way you should live your life, as if tomorrow you’ll be run over by a big red bus.
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother (lived to 101)

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Evening Standard/ Hulton Archive via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Kristina Wright
Kristina is a coffee-fueled writer living happily ever after with her family in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "I will either find a way, or ___." - Hannibal

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

The meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness.

separator icon
Terry Pratchett
motivation theme icon

Be happy, take care of your teeth, always let your conscience be your guide.

separator icon
Patti Smith
hope theme icon

Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.

separator icon
Mary Shelley
love theme icon

Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.

separator icon
Ludwig Wittgenstein
wisdom theme icon

Only the curious have something to find.

separator icon
Sean Watkins
happiness theme icon

Chance favors only the prepared mind.

separator icon
Louis Pasteur
motivation theme icon

You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind.

separator icon
Timothy Leary
hope theme icon

Only the ephemeral is of lasting value.

separator icon
Eugène Ionesco
love theme icon

With confidence, you have won before you have started.

separator icon
Marcus Garvey
wisdom theme icon

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

separator icon
Dolly Parton
happiness theme icon

I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.

separator icon
Robert Harling